Until women give men a break and start telling themselves the truth, things will never change. I don't believe women are as helpless as we think we are in relationships. Many of us love to play victims for the most part. We need to stop putting so much energy into relationships more than we receive. I understand we are emotional beings, but we must learn to train our minds to value ourselves enough to recognize when it is no longer love.
When going into any relationship, take your brain with you and never forget to ask questions. Do not assume you know what a man want without asking. Men want different things, just like we women. Don't be too quick to assume a man loves you if he hasn't told you. It's okay to express yourself about a relationship, but don't go telling your friends and family that the guy loves you until he tells you so. He doesn't love you. It is just an affair yet! You're into each other and you're having sex. No strings attached. Men do not come into your life to marry you. They come to have sex.
Until a man proposes marriage and asks you if you will marry him? Do not not imagine it in your head and respond to it and become expectant. You're just friends attracted to each other, dating and having sex. Nothing more to it yet. Never you assume what you're not told. If he wants more, he will propose to you. Until he has proposed to you, he doesn't want to marry you.
Do not be desperate to be in a relationship. It is not shameful not to be in a relationship. Don't let anyone make you feel unworthy for not being in a relationship. Even if you don't have any man in your life, you can refuse to date the next one asking you for a relationship if you don't like him enough. Don't accept any man available to you just because you're lonely.
Why are you lonely when you have you? Be in a relationship with yourself and treat yourself exactly how you would want another person to treat you. Love yourself, say nice things to yourself, take pictures of yourself, buy yourself gifts, dress well, pamper yourself and make love to yourself! Yes! If you want it so badly, do it yourself instead of doing it with someone you're not sure of, out of desperation.
Only have sex with someone you really like, who treats you really well. There are always red flags. The way and manner someone treats you and speaks to you will let you know how he really feels about you. Value yourself and your body so much that you can't afford to share it with just anyone out there. You can't be having sex with a man who disrespects you or thinks he's doing you a favor. Study study before rushing to have sex. Be very smart about taking off your clothes.. Not everyone out there deserves that opportunity!
Inasmuch as not all relationships must lead to marriage, you want to have good memories for any affair or relationship while it lasts. Some relationships without good memories can lead to bitterness after breakups,but having good memories can keep you as friends even if the relationship break up. When you trust who you are and know your worth, you will always see any break up as a loss to the other person and not to you!
Many consider it too audacious to say they want sex. They'll rather tell you "i love you". It's not what a man says to you that matters. It is what he does and how he treats you! Always remember because you're into each other and having sex doesn't mean he must propose to you. He may not and that is okay.
Also remember that it takes two people to be in love. That is when you love him and he loves you back. Until you both cannot do without each other, then it is love and a relationship. If it's just you who can't do without him, it is not love. That is infatuation. You shouldn't be loving someone who's not loving you. Many of us misconstrue infatuation for love. Many people know nothing about love. Being with someone and having sex or living together is not always about love.
The moment you realize the relationship is one sided, The moment you start to doubt yourself and yourself and your feelings without reassurance from the other person, the moment you start feeling depletected or frustrated, know that it is no longer a relationship. You may want to ask question for benefit of the doubt, but if you no longer feel secure or wanted, if your sad days are now more then your sad days, know it is time to give it up! In fact, Love makes you happy, not sad, but hey! Things are not always perfect.
Until you're proposed to, and married, you do not owe each other any obligation to remain with each other. There are many couples stuck with each other for some reasons other than love. It may be appreciation of each other, loyal to each other, may be for their children, but certainly not love. But, whichever the case, it must a mutual choice.
Please sisters, give love a chance only where you're wanted, cherished and valued. do not stay where you're not wanted. It may hurtt, but summon up the courage to move on....
WE CAN....
Aje, I guess I am one of those very few women. I do not into any relationship expecting marriage, But funny enough, my relationship usually last long.
Women are territorial in nature that is why they claim ownership prematurely. Very few women enter into a relationship without expecting it to end in marriage or something tangible/ meaningful, It’s in our DNA.
@Martins, I think you misunderstood my point here. It is to stop ladies to understand not all relationship must end up in marriage. I think the desperation is not necessary.
I don't know whether to love ,like or dislike this article. You Said so many things that are absolutely true, like when you longer want to live without the other person. Yet you sometimes sound very cynical about trusting in a relationship that hasn't resulted in marriage. I believe that one leads to the other. A relationship where there's no trust can hardly culminate in marriage. Being half-hearted in a relationship will not nuture such relationship. However, being hastily expectant about the end result of a fledgling relationship is immature.